When I think of drama queens, I think of liberals. Does that sound hateful? If so, then you're one of the liberal drama queens I'm talking about! This extreme sensitivity makes the most melodramatic teeny bopper seem like the reincarnation of Buddha! That, along with the melodrama expressed after Bush won the election, makes liberals kings of drama queens! Remember the election? Remember how they reacted to Bush' victory? Many of them literally went through (and are still undergoing) the fi...

I want to buy Mario Pinball Land . Haven't heard of it? I'll describe it to you. It's one of the most frustrating games I've ever played! I enjoy pinball, and I enjoy adventures, but I do not enjoy pinball adventures. They mix as well as fried chicken and ice cream. In other words, some people will enjoy it, but most will think that a fried chicken sunday is a bad idea. But I still want to buy the game. The game play itself is terribly flawed, but the graphics offer the most cutest ey...

I love my pets. I love each one of them. Sure, Marge pisses me off when she’s being a bitch, and Sonic gets a swift slap to the butt when he’s chewing the carpet, but I still give them the kisses. I let Serena rest her fat butt on my valuables even though she refuses to get along with the dogs, and I don’t think any less of Creole for trying to eat me . I love them all and I’ll give them the kisses forever! My love for my pets is unconditional. It’s easy to love them unconditionally, bec...

When I was younger, I blamed everything on Christians. The injustices in my life were caused by Christians and their intolerant and judgmental attitudes. After hearing some wonderful words by Kirk Franklin though, I could no longer hate Christians. That's when I became a vegan... Omnivores were the cause of all the world's problems. Their insensitivity to our fellow neighbors and their fat asses sickened me. I didn't like the half-ass vegetarians who wore leather or drank milk either. Non-veg...

Why do people believe that men such as Jerry Falwell represent more than a tiny percentage of Christians? Some even believe that zealots like him were responsible for winning the election in Bush's favor! Supposedly, it's because of the lack of outcry against the likes of him from more moderate Christians. Supposedly, it's their responsibility to tell the world, "He doesn't represent us."I'll accept that, but what does that mean for other groups? Islam is called the religion of peace, despite t...

Those on the far left, who proclaim love, peace, and tolerance, compare the war in Iraq to the war in Vietnam. They draw such a parallel that I see it as portent to how they will treat the soldiers when they return. Will they, in the name of love, open-mindedness, and enlightenment, treat the troops returning from Iraq as cruelly as they treated the soldiers returning from Vietnam? I believe so. Sure, they'll claim otherwise. They'll say they support the troops, but do they really? They insist ...

Here's my novel idea for the sequel to Osmosis Jones... Osmosis Jones 2: Self-Destruction This movie takes place one year after the first. Shortly after Frank Detomello (Bill Murray) returns from his vacation in Haiti, the inhabitants of the City of Frank notice a peculiar behavior in their protectors, the white blood cells, who have taken to demolishing the very city they vowed to serve. Osmosis Jones (Chris Rock), one of the few unaffected white blood cells, and Drix (David Hyde Pie...

You've definitely heard that Americans are ignorant of foreign affairs, right? It's usually said by one of our Western European neighbors or an American in love with Western Europe. Are Americans uniquely ignorant of what happens beyond their borders, or are Europeans resentful because we don't pay as much attention to them as they do to us? People often criticize Americans for not knowing multiple languages, pointing out that Europeans usually know two or three. Is it because Americans are i...

After SEGA , Take Two , and ESPN threatened EA 's stranglehold its Madden NFL series held on the football game market, EA did what any competition-loving corporation would do and bought exclusive licensing rights to everything NFL . What does that mean? It means there will no longer be competition against EA's Madden NFL series, unless you count football games without NFL licenses, which don't count, because who wants to play a game not endorsed by the NFL? Nobody! Fans of the Madden ...

Lindsay Lohan deserves an entire chapter in history for Speak, her new CD! The teen queen differentiates herself from the bimbos such Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera by not only being the only one of them that's actually attractive, but also by assisting with the actual creation of the songs and by having a CD with songs that actually rock! Lindsay Lohan finally proves that a beautiful big-breasted redhead can be an awesome music artist! I already can’t wait for her sophomore CD! Pur...

The ultimate battle begins. The reigning champion, Nintendo , just unleashed its most powerful handheld system, the Nintendo DS , and Sony prepares to surface its Sony PSP , the offspring of the Playstation consoles. Which one will consumers embrace and which one will they forever banish to the Shadow Realm? We shall find out soon! While we wait, I'd like to offer my own opinion on the future of these two systems, particularly the Nintendo DS. I don't have a Sony PS...

While browsing channels, I happened upon "A Charlie Brown Christmas." I enjoyed Peanuts as a child, so I decided to watch it. That was a mistake! Not only did they air vile words such as "God," but they even described Christmas as a celebration of the birth of Christ! They even spoke of being religious as a virtue! How could such an offensive program be aired on television? And to claim that a woman's breast at a Super Bowl is offensive? Boy, was I pissed! When I revived from my heart attack,...

Pardon the beating of the dead horse, but I have to clarify something. Apparently, some people, who call themselves the Enlightened Ones, believe that George W. Bush won the election because he opposed gay marriage. The Enlightened Ones even claim that Democrats support the right of homosexuals to marry! Well, I'm here to reveal to the Enlightened Ones something they should have known before... Democrats don't like gay marriage either! Don't believe me? Believe that the states that banned gay m...

Let's face it. Sex education doesn't work. Teen pregnancy is still rampant and as the Media advertises sex to children as something they cannot live without , it will become much more common. I don't care how often you tell somebody about condoms. Many of them won't deal with such obstructive devices and the ones that do won't always use them correctly. That is why we must embrace other methods to prevent teen pregnancy. Here is a way the nation can reduce teen pregnancy: Prostitutes for Te...

I really hate anti-drug commercials. Whoever writes them must have not had their testes drop yet. Why do I say that? Let me describe the most recent anti-drug commercial I say: In it, a teenager walks home and sees his younger brother on the porch and ignores him . He ignores him throughout the day. His father tries to persuade him to be nicer to his brother, but he bluntly asks: "Who cares about some stupid birthday part?" His father replies, "He cares." He retorts, "So what?" and walks into h...