When I was younger, I blamed everything on Christians. The injustices in my life were caused by Christians and their intolerant and judgmental attitudes. After hearing some wonderful words by Kirk Franklin though, I could no longer hate Christians. That's when I became a vegan...

Omnivores were the cause of all the world's problems. Their insensitivity to our fellow neighbors and their fat asses sickened me. I didn't like the half-ass vegetarians who wore leather or drank milk either. Non-vegans were my ultimate enemy, and I would destroy them all. That, as well as my veganism, ended when my desire for a Big Mac overwhelmed me. Eventually, I found an entertaining religious debate room on MSN Chat that kept me busy for the next few years...

I quickly learned of the evils off Wiccans (or as I called them, Whickens). Their fat asses and ridiculous beliefs were disgusting and made me ashamed that they were of the same kingdom as I. That had to go though, as some of my friends were Wiccans, and I didn't want to be a hypocrite...

That's when I turned my hatred toward Buddhists. I knew a few Buddhists, and they were total assholes! Buddhists such as Steven Segal would beat their wives and ones such as Richard Gere would commit unmentionable acts with animals! These depraved pompous elitists pissed me off so much! But, Andrea, somebody I loved almost as much as Katie, said she was a Buddhist once, and I really wanted to have sex with her and her big breasts. I wanted to pound Angela too (although the Buddha in her screen name might have referred to marijuana). I decided that not all Buddhists were bad...

I then attacked my own kind, the atheists. I wasn't as idiotic and dogmatic as the rest of the atheists. They had their heads so far up their own asses that they made Richard Gere's perversions look modest! They were my ultimate nemeses! However, some of my friends were atheists, and they weren't as psychopathic as other atheists supposedly were. It wasn't right for me to think all atheists besides me were idiots, and so I had to find another group to belittle...

This was around the time the religious scene got boring and the political scene blossomed. I was evolving from a liberal into a conservative, so it seemed perfect to make liberals my new enemy. I could even blame all my previous problems on my liberalism! However, once again, many of my friends were liberals, and I didn't want animosity to build between us.

So here I am now, searching for a new group to hate. There's not many groups I could use, and the ones I could use (Linux zealots and virgins), are too obscure to entertain me. I guess I'm stuck treating everybody as individuals.