I want to destroy some misconceptions people might have about me. After reading this, you might even know a bit more about the enigma that I am!

Clarifications

I don’t hate France. How can I hate the land that begot the big-breasted Laetitia Casta? I only hate its food.

I don’t hate liberals. Some of the women with whom I want to have sex most are liberals, such as Sydney Moon, a beautiful adult star with the eyes and hair of a Super Saiyan.

I don’t hate Buddhists. My favorite actor, Jet Li, is a Buddhist, and he beat the living shit out of an entire class of black belt police officers in Kiss of the Dragon! Sure, they were French, but it’s still fucking awesome!

When I’m an asshole, it’s not intentional. I’m a bipolar idiot.

I don’t hate homosexuals. I only hate the flaming ones.

I don’t hate Mexicans. I only hate the flaming ones.

I’m not racist because this one black woman reminds me of another women because she’s also black. The love of my life, Katie, reminded me of Mariah Carey simply because they were both Irish.

I’d join the army to serve my country and to meet hot babes such as Jessica Lynch, but I don’t take orders well and I hate to sleep in the same room as other men. Instead, I’ll watch pornography with women in military garb.

I’m not gay. I just happen to have a sexual attraction to women who look like effeminate men.

I love women with big breasts, a big ass, and some unique trait, such as a missing hand.

I didn’t join a yoga class to ogle beautiful women doing provocative poses. That’s just extra motivation

I might believe in a literal interpretation of the book of Genesis, but I’m not ignorant of biology. I simply have more faith in God than I do in the calculations of man.

I don’t think homosexuals are going to go to hell because of their homosexuality anymore than I’m going to go to hell because of my sins.

I like to post things solely to piss off others, but I’ll only do it in appropriate places (i.e. my own blog).

I try to befriend only females, but it’s not because I’m a pervert. I’m just more comfortable around women. Besides, I can’t think inappropriate thoughts about my friends. My conscience won’t allow it.