you are entitled to your opinion juxta, but i was appauled by your insensitve approach to such a sensitive topic. I hope to God that you are never employed or volunteer to counsel pregnant women on this topic because you don't seem to have much of a heart.

you are entitled to your opinion juxta, but i was appauled by your insensitve approach to such a sensitive topic. I hope to God that you are never employed or volunteer to counsel pregnant women on this topic because you don't seem to have much of a heart.

Ever heard of Tough love?  Sometimes the solutions are not the feel good ones, but the harsh ones.  It is easy to always go with the feel good ones, it is tough to gowith the tough love ones,hence the name.

Thanks everybody! Interesting comments all around, and although I did write this little piece in an antagonistic sort of way, I'm glad that actual discussions have taken place.

I guess my main point is that nobody has to be a mother if they don't want to or if they can't handle it. Sure, if abortion is ever outlawed, then this won't apply, but right now, there's so many options that a pregnant woman has that she isn't forced into anything she can't handle.

Having had many REAL conversations with single mothers, I cannot think of many that came CLOSE to the stereotype you're presenting.

That's good. To be honest, I was working on the stereotype I got from a recent anti-conservative article about how conservatives aren't doing enough to help the poor downtrodden single mothers who are victims of society and whatnot. Maybe it's not really the single mothers that are the issue, but the people that are fighting in the interests of them.

I think I can make some interesting observations about you from the tone of your post.

1) You have never been poor and most likely come from a middle class family, never really going without food or decent clothing. Certainly never having your utilities turned off or having to worry where your next meal would come from. Ever have shoes from Payless? Shopped at K-mart? It is doubtful. Of course you'll probably say you had it hard, even if your family is worth quite a bit. I know a millionaire who complains about how poor she is.
2.) Nuclear Family with a mommy and a daddy, daddy played football (baseball? Rugby? Lacrosse?) with you on weekends while mommy baked cookies and lived at home. She could afford to do this because Daddy is which? (Lawyer? Doctor? CEO? Military Officer?)
3.)You will never understand the plight of the poor. you can't! You have no point of reference of the pain of that existence or how hard it is to work out of it.

As far as what you have to say. The tone is all wrong and shows no compassion or real want to help this person or persuade them in any way. I am prochoice, I think it is in the best interest of someone who will ruin their life by starting a family too early to terminate that pregnancy. On the other hand, I have known many who have gone through with the said act only to regret it the rest of their days, as their situation improved faster than they anticipated. Her reaction to you was because of your tone, you weren't being helpful, you were attacking her character, somehow puffing yourself up with your own superiority.

I come from a one parent home. My mother was never on welfare, worked hard for a living at an 11-7 shift as a nurse at a hospital 6 nights a week. We had nothing growing up while my rich father was busy stealing our inheritance and avoiding child support. I can tell you I have seen the point of view from both sides of the spectrum. The rich are blind, selfish, narcisisstic, and quite honestly evil. They usually claim to be good christians too. If you think you are a good christian, have a look at what Jesus had to say about charity.

I will tell you the system is truly rigged toward the ritch and against the poor

Coming from a poor home, I have had to work twice as hard as you to have equal standing to you. And there are no programs for a poor man who fits in my demographic. I'm not a minority and not a female. Though, I think programs for them should stay in place instead of being torn down by the rich republicans you cherish so much. You won't understand that I look on you with pity. You have no soul, no heart, and no truth to your character. You are narcissistic and too valuing of your own self importance in the world. You somehow think that people who are poor deserve to be there. Guess what bucko! If you were to lose it all today. Mommy and daddy took away the trust fund, your stocks soured and you lost your shirt. YOU WOULD NOT SURVIVE! Without the money you are nothing but a spoiled brat who wouldn't know what REAL hard work is.

Of course why do I bother, you have eyes, yet cannot see the truth when it is staring back at you. There is something terribly wrong in this world. When you meet Jesus at the pearly gates and he tells you he does not know you. Then you'll understand.

"The dispossessed of this nation - the poor, both white and Negro - live in a cruelly unjust society. They must organise against that injustice, not against the lives of persons who are their fellow citizens, but against the structures through which the society is refusing to take means which have been called for, and which are at hand, to lift the load of poverty.The only real revolutionary, people say, is a man who has nothing to lose. There are millions of poor people in this country who have very little, or even nothing, to lose. If they can be helped to take action together, they will do so with a freedom and a power that will be a new and unsettling force in our complacent national life." --Martin Luther King

I guess my main point is that nobody has to be a mother if they don't want to or if they can't handle it. Sure, if abortion is ever outlawed, then this won't apply, but right now, there's so many options that a pregnant woman has that she isn't forced into anything she can't handle

Nobody has to be a mother if they don't want to -- well your imaginary single mother wanted to. She said abortion and adoption were not options for her but you didn't say why. Here's why imo - she's carrying this child around she's attached to it, to her it is alive, viable, life.
Because abortion is legal she has to go through with it?

Your imaginary single mother has chosen to be in that position because she has love for her child, the one growing inside her. And you have no idea the strength and resiliance that happens when a woman becomes maternal (yes there are pregnant women out there who will never be maternal and wouldn't think twice about abortion/adoption) If a woman is choosing to keep her child she obviously wants it and will find a way to make her childs world safe happy and comfortable.
At least a real mother would - I guess I can't speak for made-up ones.

I think anyone can make a "fake conversation" to justify any point-of-view. This article seemed more "provoking" than thought-provoking. What is Juxtaposition's true intention? If you would like a "real conversation" with a single parent feel free to post on my blog. I defintiely don't blame my problems on anyone...okay maybe on my parents...if it wasn't for my parents I would be a normal person.

Sometimes I feel like the poster child for the right wing conservative politician. Seems like the entire problem with the good ole U.S.A rest squarely on my shoulders. Anything wrong with the world today? Just point to my poster...single-parent-working-woman-who- wears-combat-boots. (I think its called the "Old Bait and Switch".) But all kidding aside, I think it's always bad form to lump everyone in one category. I think you can do better Juxtaposition.

"The writer of this fake conversation either has a problem thinking properly or if just plain biased enough to write an one side fake conversation, .. anyway what more can one expect from a post on websited for average joe..."

A "problem thinking properly" when this shit is reality? I can tell you are a stupid, radical liberal...you suck.

"Abortion is advocated only by those who themselves have not been aborted" Ronald Reagan

Having had many REAL conversations with single mothers, I cannot think of many that came CLOSE to the stereotype you're presenting.

Working in Social services now (networks), I have seen many that did.

Indeed, you're exemplifying a good bit of ignorance here. In my imaginary image of you, I see one of those young white guys who'd never previously likely even had a meal with a black person but felt is was his civic duty to show up and monitor voting in black districts on election day 2004. Yep. Those "monkeys" can't be expected to do it right. Though you do not denote race at all, there is an evident racial subtext in your message. And, of course, there's that "personal responsibility" concept. I find it interesting that you Republican types (yeah, that's pretty obvious, too, from subtext of your message) honor choice under these sorts of circumstance but not under other circumstances, as in choice over what one might do with her own body. I like how you suggest a tolerance of abortion-- maybe it's ok for poor black folks? Geez, who needs another of THEM, eh?

You'd do well to maybe actually go out and have some REAL conversations with some people who are different in their life experiences from you. I know, it'd be scary: it might disconfirm some of your prejucides. Egad. But, you might also become more of a real person than a caricature. I realize the world is scary in all its complexity and that it's easier to sit back and judge from your throne of privilege. But, people make complicated decisions for a complex array of reasons. And different people yield from different structural location in this life, based upon their social structure (race, class, gender). Read C.Wright Mills' The Sociological Imagination. Get a _real_ life. It's easy to get trapped behind one's inevitable prejudices, which generate from one's own social conditions/position-- very easy. But we only live once, and you're missing out on the authentic life. Like Siddharta (Buddha) before he left his gated community. Walk out that gate...come on, you can do it...

I find it interesting that you Republican types (yeah, that's pretty obvious, too, from subtext of your message) honor choice under these sorts of circumstance but not under other circumstances, as in choice over what one might do with her own body. I like how you suggest a tolerance of abortion-- maybe it's ok for poor black folks? Geez, who needs another of THEM, eh?

Your bigotry and ignorance reeks with almost every statement in your first paragraph.  This is definitely a case of the pot calling the kettle black.

Where do you get your statistics, by which you're basing your observation of a "very strong correlation"? The Focus on the Family "Institute"??

its funny... cause in a Bush world, you can't have an abortion.



as for the rest of this, its the steroetypical welfare mother not the real monther. I know cause I am with them. there are, of course, those who do it on purpose and it is easy to find one or 2 everyday out of the 20 who are there. I hear them talking about what they should get and how they will cheat the system, but there are others are not trying to do that and most don't.

1) You have never been poor and most likely come from a middle class family, never really going without food or decent clothing. Certainly never having your utilities turned off or having to worry where your next meal would come from. Ever have shoes from Payless? Shopped at K-mart? It is doubtful. Of course you'll probably say you had it hard, even if your family is worth quite a bit. I know a millionaire who complains about how poor she is. 2.) Nuclear Family with a mommy and a daddy, daddy played football (baseball? Rugby? Lacrosse?) with you on weekends while mommy baked cookies and lived at home. She could afford to do this because Daddy is which? (Lawyer? Doctor? CEO? Military Officer?) 3.)You will never understand the plight of the poor. you can't! You have no point of reference of the pain of that existence or how hard it is to work out of it.

Interesting assumptions. I tend to agree with juxta in that charity is not the role of the government, and I DO come from a poor background. In fact, I am currently supporting my family of 7 on far less than the poverty line for a family of FOUR! I don't consider us "poor", nor do I allow my children to get caught in the mire of believing we are poor. I have a healthy family, a good house, adequate food (we're turning our house into a homestead), and everything a person could honestly need...WITHOUT begging the government for handouts.

We have a HUGE deficit, a massive national debt, and basically are on the fast track towards bankruptcy as a nation if we indulge every pet social project of every activist. Somewhere, we MUST draw the line, and rely on the PRIVATE sector to address these needs.

its funny... cause in a Bush world, you can't have an abortion. as for the rest of this, its the steroetypical welfare mother not the real monther. I know cause I am with them. there are, of course, those who do it on purpose and it is easy to find one or 2 everyday out of the 20 who are there. I hear them talking about what they should get and how they will cheat the system, but there are others are not trying to do that and most don't.

I beg to differ with you.  While using this as a stereotype of all unwed mothers is bad, it is a sad fact of life that many welfare mothers do just this to increase benefits.  that is not an opinion, but a fact.  And that has to be stopped.  How?  That is the rub.  For to manditorially sterilize them is wrong, and so the courts have agreed.  To push them out of the welfare class, is criminal to their children who are the innocent victims.

I dont have the answer, but the post, while fictional, is all too real in every day life.